Okay! I admit it! I’m officially green, and apoplectic, with an unreasoning jealousy of all you pump users. It just isn’t fair! It’s not that I can’t get a pump, I’m sure I could, but being a T2 a pump wouldn’t solve my problems so it’s not even worth trying. Even more annoying, I know that if I were to be a little more abstemious, and a tad more energetic, my diabetes would be so much easier to control.
Oh dear, that’s let the cat out of the bag now, I’ve just given myself an outsiders view of me, and it’s not very pretty. I now realise that I’m jealous, not because a pump would help me succeed in controlling my diabetes, but because I see a pump, completely erroneously, as a means to surrender my responsibility for my own condition. I’m ignoring how hard you lovely people have to work to establish your regimens, and how doggedly determined you have to be to make the pump work for you.
So, having stuck my nose into the fresh, wine scented, air of dedicated pumpers, I return to my foetid lair a sadder and wiser gnome, now properly convinced that diabetes control is about people, not pumps or pens. T1s in general, and pumpers in particular, I salute you!
Yeah, they’re not *that* great anyway Terry. Pumps do get hyped up a lot – but one is still stuck with diabetes, which is a pain in the butt at the best of times as we all know. So, yes, I agree it is all about people and attitudes.
Anyway, if *I* was a little more abstemious and a tad more energetic *my* diabetes would be easier to control. But where the hell would be the fun in that!
While it may appear that the pump has made a remarkable difference to my control – for fear of slightly bigging myself up here – actually if I’m honest, I think it’s been just as much to do with my attitude to my control of late. The 2 have gone hand in hand.
I can be a perfectionist (understatement!) and have always wanted to tick my diabetes off as ‘done’ or at least ‘controlled’. I tried hard with my control on MDI and was frustrated time and time again as it didn’t seem to make much of a difference whatever I did.
I got into a vicious circle of trying hard, seeing only small improvements, so not bothering for a bit, seeing things get worse, feeling guilty, making an effort, seeing only small improvement so giving up again etc etc
I hated sitting there in the clinic waiting room – I felt jealous of all the other patients, assuming every one of them must have better control than me (not helped by a consultant who would tell me endlessly that this was the case – Liar!) and I never engaged in any of this forum reading/ researching other actual real experience, or engaging with other diabetic types!!! Cos I’d just feel guilty for not being as good as you all, and jealous that I couldn’t achieve perfect BGs like all yours!!
After the scare of laser eye surgery, I saw the opportunity to go on a pump as a chance to wipe the slate and start from scratch with my control (and attitude). I’ve thrown everything at learning about pumping, me and my diabetes and how it all fits together and what I’ve finally managed to learn most is that I’m never going to ‘tick’ diabetes off any list!
My recent HbA1c of 6.7% is testiment to how the pump can help – at long last it seems the pump is allowing me to get some reward for my efforts but it’s definately as much about the person as it is the ‘tools’ available (or not available, in some cases) to help.
No one is perfect and living with diabetes, T1 or T2, is a bloody pain in the arse!
I’ll join you in emitting green house-gases, @teloz: a tool box that contains a pump (and CGM) does seem to be something to envy…for your sake, though, the box also has to include a phial of injectable Metformin. And the fact remains that such a box is but a clumsy lot to use for the “;
But cross-country was one of the most fun sports! Running around in the woods -it was like the weekend for me! Admittedly I didn’t ever try and win… I have, however, got out of a fair bit of heavy lifting at work
I have greatly enjoyed numerous days off recently, largely, but not entirely, thanks to diabetes – so yeah, that is a nice upside. Especially when you have early shifts, and only morning clinics – just has to be a whole day off usually!
I ‘enjoyed’ cross country running in that, as I lived 5 mins from the school, when we got sent out, I knew which way to go so that I could rejoin at the end of the run and no-one would know I’d been enjoying a gossip in the woods with my friends rather than getting hot and sweaty.
Local knowledge. Very important when a kid at a school that thought cross country running was a good thing…
CC was best – so much to see: we were carted off to bull&cowpat-infested meadows, a quarry, the local (horse) race course and the fenced grounds of a psychiatric hospital…and in the glory year 1982, I won a watch (after running 6km instead of 3, because of a false start; the route boasted a flattened cat corpse that we had to pass twice – completely overshadows happenings on the hockey field years later, where my partner in defense whacked out the front teeth of an opponent). Those were the days…currently about as fit as a double bass
Being the class fattie, cross country was anathema to me, I just didn’t have the stamina so I used it as an opportunity to sneak in an extra couple of cigarettes. At that time of course I wasn’t a diabetic, so I couldn’t use that as a means of escape. Funnily enough, despite my bulk, I did manage to develop a fairly good speed over short distances which was great for playing Rugby, and my build was ideal for a front-row forward. Sadly though, it was a single sex school, so I didn’t get to watch girls playing hockey. My teenage years were very deprived.
@Annette – I was at a school in a small village, so the teachers saw that kind of tactic coming a mile off – we had check points cause EVERYONE knew the shortcuts!
@Cecile – I’m not sure you picked the right instrument there, I have something of a fondness for double basses
@Teloz – While I went to a mixed school, I had to play indoor hockey WITH the girls. Which was great, until I tackled one of them somewhat over enthusiastically and gave her a nose bleed – there went my hopes of getting to know her better…