The human body is a marvellous thing, but it is sadly lacking in storage space. All the organs have their own spot, but there’s no room for expansion. When you decide to wear your pancreas on the outside rather than the inside, it does make for an interesting storage challenge. Where the hell do you put it?
I mostly wear my pump clipped to my waistband. It’s convenient and I can get at it easily. People rarely notice it and when they do they think I’m a relic from an age before mobile phones and have a pager clipped to me. I’m not quite sure what they think the tube is for; perhaps it’s a petrol powered pager?
The waistband clip thing works well for me but the ongoing costs are rather high. There isn’t a doorway in our house that doesn’t have a paint chip in it at waist height. The pump is less than an inch deep and it’s not like I only have an inch clearance either side to pass through a door. Nevertheless, the pump and the doorframe are great friends and I’m sure we have to redecorate more than the average person because of it.
Trouser pockets are also a good place for hiding a pump. That’s fine with jeans but I find with tailored trousers it just looks plain weird. I’d rather have a visible pump on my waistband than a bizarre rectangular bulge in my trousers.
Some people manage to run their tubing down their leg and then clip the pump to their sock. I’ve tried this once. I hated not being able to get at the pump easily and the tubing really tickled.
All these ideas are of course marvellous, until you decide you’d like to wear a dress. Then it gets a bit more complex. You can get a garter type thing that goes round your thigh and you attach the pump to it a la Lara Croft. This is marvellous for pretending you’re a superhero, but beyond that I seemed to spend a lot of time fretting that it was going to fall down or exposing myself to the world as I pulled my skirt up to try and get to the pump.
I find bras to be marvellous pump storage devices. I clip mine in the middle at the front. I can’t feel it there and although I can see it clearly from my viewpoint, careful posing in front of the mirror shows it to be invisible to all except the most dedicated perv. I have my pump and CGM alarms set to vibrate which does mean that I occasionally find my boobs start vibrating mid conversation. This is initially quite unnerving but curiously I’m now used to it. I look on it as one of the more entertaining diabetes complications.
The other danger with bra based storage is that you inevitably have to delve into your cleavage at the dinner table to retrieve the pump. Remarkably, most people don’t notice and if they do it normally starts off a good conversation. It’s certainly less embarrassing than when I tried the thigh holster thingy and seemed to spend the whole day flashing my knickers.
Who’d have thought you could get 3 paragraphs out of insulin pumps and bras? Anyway, last point on bras is that some people manage to put their pump in the side of their bra. I’m impressed they manage it but to me it always feels like I’m wearing an insulin pump in my armpit which I’m never going to enjoy no matter how hard I try.
So that’s where I’ve had my pump over the last 4 years. If I’m getting changed I sometimes clip it in my hair briefly rather than take it off or keep moving it around, but that’s never going to work for me longterm. Where do you keep yours?