Diabetic jokes

[Alison]

I can’t believe I’ve lived this long with a broken pancreas and never heard Jimmy Carr’s diabetic joke “Definition of a Diabetic Suicide? I’ve had enough. Pass me the sherbet dibdabs.” Thanks @dani for opening my eyes to that one.

Are there any more gems out there that I’m missing?

[Tim]

My friend recently found out she suffers from both diabetes and hay fever.

I tried to cheer her up by sending some gifts, you know; flowers & chocolates.

[Tim]

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life gives you diabetes, do not make lemonade.

[Tim]

The symptoms of diabetes are: excessive urination (especially at night), increased thirst, tiredness, genital itching and blurred vision.

Bloody hell, I’ve been a diabetic every Friday night for years.

[Annette A]

A guy walks into a bakery. ‘What have you got that’s suitable for a diabetic?’ The Baker says ‘Anything. As long as you don’t put it in your mouth.’

[Cecile]

How would bits of the Greek financial lifebuoy impact the diabetic community?

-Greece is now allowed to sell retsina as cure for retinopathy.
-They may start a company called Fin-IKEA, that’ll provide furniture to NHS diabetes waiting room aquaria.
-For a price, Enlite continuous glucose sensors will wirelessly gain further enlightenment from the Oracle at Delphi.

[Cecile]

A diabetic, who was asked to pay, started rummaging in shoes: “I keep it in here, ’cause the doc said I should cheque my feet regularly.”

[Author]

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