Diabetic terrorism

By | 26 September, 2009
Boom!

Boom!

I was recently reminiscing about my childhood with some friends.

I grew up in Northern Ireland during the 1980’s amidst the chucklefest that was The Troubles. I usually say we lived in Belfast, but in fact we lived in the leafy suburbs of Cultra – which, as anyone who knows the area will attest, is not exactly the Falls Road. However, despite that, we lived in a house with bulletproof glass windows, barbed wire along the 6ft fence and reinforced gates.

As we chatted about this, I remembered that Sinn Féin was often described as the political wing of the IRA. Therefore it sort of followed that the IRA was the terrorist wing of Sinn Féin. Leaving the heady days of Northern Ireland behind, I wondered whether other organisations could have terrorist wings.

In the UK we diabetics have problems with the NHS, health boards and funding and our chums in the USA have endless issues with healthcare funding and insurances companies. There are clearly plenty of targets, so why not form a diabetic terrorist organisation? We’re all (moderately) clever, well organised and pretty damned fanatical about diabetes – so I can’t see any problems there. We could call it the PCA – the Pancreatically Challenged Army.

I don’t know about you, but I’m somewhat squeamish about real terrorism – I’m almost certain I couldn’t dole out a punishment beating to a health board executive, kneecap a drug rep., or plant high-explosives in an insurance company headquarters.

So I’m thinking more mischief than real terror – rude things said on blogs, seven thousand simultaneous requests for free meter samples, excrement trebuchets, live monkeys released into buildings – that sort of thing. No one will get hurt – just a bit smelly in the case of the fantastical poo-catapult.

So what would an active global campaign by the PCA achieve? Absolutely nothing. In fact it would probably set back the diabetic cause by years – rightly creating waves of public outcry, criminalising those of us with wonky pancreases and leading to sanctions on critical diabetic supplies such as Fruit Pastilles.

But isn’t it just great to fantasise about for just a moment? Turned down for pump funding yet again? Can’t get the number of test strips you need each month? One encrypted message to your nearest underground PCA cell and terrible revenge would be wreaked on your behalf. Oooooh, now that feels good.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinn_F%C3%A9in

14 thoughts on “Diabetic terrorism

  1. Mike

    Me, Me, Me, Me… Let me join!!! 🙂

    Perhaps we could do something more A-Team style?? Quite fancy myself in a Face type role! Know a few peeps that would fit the Murdoch role quite nicely as well.

    Reply
  2. Tim

    @Mike Yay! We could be captured, then locked in a seemingly-empty garage, from which we could construct some form of tank, escape, take on baddies and win. Huzzah!

    Reply
  3. Lesley

    INPUT has resorted to media-based tactics in the past – always very effective. Many people who contact us don’t want to go that far though, fearing that their health care will suffer if they take any sort of positive action. And sadly sometimes that has happened – for example when someone gets referred to another clinic and their previous clinic refuses to deal with them again. (Counter-terrorism, maybe?)

    If only we had a time machine, we could make threats like “give me a pump or I’ll ooze ulcer pus all over your just-about-to-be-inspected ward!”.

    Lesley

    Reply
  4. James

    You make light of this situation by suggesting mock-terrorism. While physically harming anyone is immoral and counter productive; being rude is simply insufficient in bringing about any substantial change. Any effective strategy would have to target those in power where they are vulnerable…in their pocketbooks. The situation will have to be changed to one where it is financially attractive for change to take place; either by promoting gain, or by threat of loss. There’s your diabetic terrorism.

    Reply
  5. Tim

    @James I am being extremely light with a very serious subject. I do agree, that the real way forward is indeed the financial-side and this can be a postitive thing. For example, pumps in the UK might be more expensive than MDI, but the cost-benefit over a longer period of time will be better – there’s the financial benefit and we can help point that out to concerned parties.

    Still would be cool to build an A-Team style tank though…!

    Reply
  6. Hairy Gnome

    Hmmmmm… I wouldn’t mind being Mr T, but as I’m follicly challenged I’d find the Mohican haircut somewhat problematical! 😀

    Reply
  7. katherine cromwell

    Count me in! Not sure what/who I could be as I hated the A-team. However, I can read plans (Architect assistant) so the need to read buildings eg best entrance level to get to diabetes departments for full scale attack I can do. Just let us know when and where!

    Reply
  8. katherine cromwell

    @Annette A I bet you have great bonfire night displays then! Seriously, I wouldn’t really want to create havoc but sometimes a sense of humor is a must for diabetics.

    Reply
  9. Annette A

    Pianos burn lovely. The copper in the wires make for pretty coloured flames 🙂 Chuck a couple of aerosols on top and run for cover – we had the loudest ‘fireworks’ on the street. (kids: do not try this at home. Wait til you’ve left home, gone to uni and got slightly tipsy one bonfre night at a freind’s house which needed clearing of junk…)

    Reply

Speak your brains