The dodgy pancreas situation also seems to impact on my perception of time. While most of my life is lived in normal time, there’s quite a chunk that exists in diabetic time…
- Time you think it should take for any hypo treatment to kick in: 30 seconds
- Time it actually takes for you to believe hypo treatment has kicked in: minimum 10 minutes, on a good day
- Time you can ignore an impending low for and convince yourself that food mightn’t be required: if watching TV, the brain can normally convince you that the impending low can wait until the next advert break. If not, it’s generally a random period of self-delusion and procrastination
- Time you can continue to do the hoovering after first feeling low: about 10 minutes before the hoovering starts to get almost physically impossible
- Time it takes for you to think the dilating eye drops are working at the opticians: 10 seconds
- Time it takes for the eye man to think they’re working: minimum 20 minutes
- Time spent randomly reading posters in the waiting room and looking at your phone to see if things have got any blurrier yet: minimum 19 minutes, 50 seconds
- Time you spend putting off changing an infusion set because you’re too busy: hours/days
- Time it takes to actually change an infusion set: 1 minute
- Time it takes for the influence of pizza to leave your body: it feels like days, but I suspect technically it’s more like hours
- Time it takes for your heartbeat to return to normal after you realise with a sinking feeling that you’ve forgotten to inject for lunch: minutes
- Time it takes for your blood sugar to return to normal after you realise you’ve forgotten to inject for lunch: hours
- Time it is acceptable for a blood glucose meter to spend thinking about a result: 5 seconds
- Time it takes for my GP surgery to get my repeat prescriptions right first time, every time: a lifetime
- Time within which we can expect to be cured – a rolling 10 year period with no specified end date
Are there any other aspects of the diabetes/time continuum I’ve missed?
Time you expect a hospital appointment to take – 30 minutes
Time spent sitting in waiting room + appointment – 2 hours
Time waiting to get approval for a pump- expected 2 months.
Reality- a year. Although it will be an Omnipod next week.
Cor! An Omnipod? Let us know how you get on with it, won’t you?
Time it takes for ‘rapid acting’ insulin to begin to take effect on day 1 (when at the lower-end of normal range before a tasty meal): 1.5 minutes
Mmmmmmm! Pasta and Fruit Pastille surprise
Time it takes for ‘rapid acting’ insulin to begin to take effect on day 2 (when trying to correct a pesky high): 1.5 hours.
Can I have my lunch yet? Oh no. It’s only 4.45. Better leave it another 40 minutes or so.
Time spent wondering how a clinic can be running 1 hour late when you arrive for your appointment at 8.50am.
Mostly because the staff are late to work , dither around and dont get started , overbooked , patient before you 20 mins late but still gets seen before you , healthcare assistants dont turn up for testing poor staff management , different drs each time who spend 10 mins of your appointment looking at the records and having to learn about you ..
But apart from that it’s all rosey, eh? 😉
Time a pharmacist thinks a tube of test strips lasts (a week. No questions.) versus time a tube lasts in the diabetes world (anywhere from 2.5 days when things are seroiusly screwed up to up to 10 days when things are hunky dory and I only need to test for meals.)
Time taken in a previously unvisited corner shop to grab Lucozade when impending low propels you through door, after stumbling up step and knocking OAP to floor 30 minutes