Wanted: diabetes manager
15 May, 2009 in The Blog
Living the dream recruitment agency. Now hiring
We are a recruitment agency specialising in hard to fill roles. Our client, Alison, has decided that with a busy job, voluntary work, personal life and the blogging thing, something has to give. Therefore she intends to outsource her day to day diabetes management.
Our client will maintain control of all strategic diabetes decisions including the interesting bits like choosing to get a pump etc. However, the successful applicant will be tasked with looking after the day to day stuff that takes up so much time and energy.
Amongst other things the successful applicant will be expected to:
- Attend all check ups that don’t generally require strategic decisions eg eyes, feet, blood tests. We acknowledge that this may involve some teething difficulties around how to remove our client’s eyeballs and feet so they can be transported to the appointment without her, but a can do attitude is essential for this job and we’re sure the right applicant will find a way of addressing this issue. Our client will be available on the phone if input is required during the consultation.
- Provide basic diabetes training to all clinicians who come in contact with our client. Basic phrases along the lines of “No she doesn’t take tablets for it” and “just because she has a pump doesn’t mean she “has it really bad”" should suffice.
- Talk through our client’s history with relevant clinicians before she enters the appointment. Our client feels that if she has to tell someone her medical history one more time when they have it written down for them she might scream.
- Change infusion sets and sensors without our client having to think about it 5 times before she actually gets round to doing it.
- Collect that prescription that has been awaiting collection from Tesco for 2 days now.
- When a new diabetes prescription arrives, file all drugs and associated junk neatly in the cupboard rather than leaving the infusion sets in the huge box they were delivered in cluttering up the bedroom.
- If our client decides to eat a proper Indian curry which inevitably causes highs that require insulin around 3am, the right applicant will be there to press the pump buttons, rather than the client having to wake up and do it herself, thus resulting in her being tired in the morning.
- Sort out and transport all the diabetes junkÂ required when travelling so that our client can travel light, like a person with a working pancreas.
- Hover constantly but invisibly nearby with food in case of lows, to save our client having to carry a handbag the size of a planet.
- Remove fruit pastilles from all of our client’s clothes before washing
- Take full responsibiltityÂ for diabetes management on the odd occassion when our client feels she could really do with a day off from it.
Hours: 24/7, no holidays.
Pay: If you could do all of that, the pay budget would be unlimited!