The Banting Arms

[Tim]

My latest episode of Insulin Square introduces the “Banting Arms” a diabetic-themed pub. If there were such a thing, what features do you think it would have and would you go?

[Alison]

Now that’s a good idea. I think as a starter we’d need:

Free Port for all ShootUp readers
Machines containing emergency packs of glucose tablets in the toilets.
A handy “this pint contains xg of carbs” label with every pint, to avoid the whole beer/lager how much to bolus for it dilema.
A barmaid who understands that Diet Coke means Diet Coke, not whichever version of Coke you feel like delivering at the time and who doesn’t make inane comments about there being no point in having Diet Coke if you’re going to have crisps with it.
Bowls of Fruit Pastiles on the bar for people to help themselves to (pre-wrapped of course, I don’t want my hypo treatments tainted with 7 different types of wee from peoples’ grubby little fingers).
A sign people can hold up that says “yes, we know you’re diabetic, but could you just get off your soap box and shut up about it for a minute”.

[Tim]

Yay for free port! The jukebox would have to have suitably diabetes-related music, including (songs stolen from ancient article here http://www.shootuporputup.co.uk/2009/04/the-ultimate-diabetic-mix-tap/:

• Sugar – Tori Amos
• High – Lighthouse Family
• Hypo – Junior Delgado
• Sucrose – The Delgados
• Insulin – Soak
• Feeling Low – Memphis Slim
• The Happy Pancreas – Sam Crain & Friends

[Tim]

Here’s an utterly seamless mock-up what I did of the pub’s sign:

Don’t give up the day job, eh?

[Anonymous]

The top 10 tips for a hangover cure x

[Cecile]

I prefer to walk over to “The Best Feet” – their ornamental whisky bottles filled* with amputated diabetic pedes really are the best…and their loo’s got a full-body (not just hands/arms) dryer for when you go hypo and get soppy.

*if you can fill them with a ship, why not a foot?

[Alison]

My mother was asking only last night why Mr Banting was being given all the glamour and poor Mr Best was left unmentioned so it’s good to see you’ve rectified that @ckoei !

[Author]

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