The diabetic brainstorm

I’ve been pondering a little mystery over the last few days. My blood sugars have been a bit weird. Not kidney frying, eye blindingly high. Just a bit higher than normal. And I seem to be absorbing carbs by osmosis, I only have to look at a mince pie and I rise. This calls for that fun activity we all love, the diabetic “what the hell’s happening now” brainstorm.

Remember the rules of brainstorm – say what comes into your head, no idea is too stupid. On that basis, my thoughts as to causes of this weirdness include:

• Hormones – always a good place to point the finger but I don’t think so, the change is too subtle, anything hormone related is more sledgehammer like
• Stress – not really, I’m pretty happy
• Dodgy insulin/infusion set – changed both yesterday and saw no difference (not because I’m conscientious, just because the set was due for a change and the bottle was empty)
• Drugs – I’m clean, other than a spoonful of insulin a day no pharmaceuticals have passed my lips
• New moon – always a possibility
• My pancreas has actually been doing a little bit of work for the last 27 years and has finally packed in completely – I wouldn’t put any money on that
• Sneeky Christmas elves have installed a miniature cannula and are drip feeding me eggnog and mince pies without my knowledge – possible, I do have a cut on my hand that I thought I did making soup but could equally have been a secret miniature infusion set
• I ran a marathon without realising and my liver is now dumping glucose into my system at a rate of knots – I can still walk so this is unlikely
• I had pizza a week and a half ago and its still not quite out of my system – you never know with pizza, the extent of its evilness can’t be underestimated
• Pre Christmas excitement – I admit I was thrilled when we put the tree up the other day but I don’t think I was that thrilled
• The weather – we have only an inch of snow so I haven’t been doing much shovelling, but equally I haven’t been going out that much because of the ice. Possible.

As the brainstorm led to nothing I took the age old approach of giving up and going to bed. I awoke this morning to the winter sun streaming through the window. I dragged myself out of my warm bed and…drumroll please…I sneezed! I have a cold. Mystery solved.