It’s three weeks now since we started playing at being parents, and we’re having lots of fun. My caesarean scar has healed beautifully, which is of course amazing as most clinicians seem to expect that it should be oozing green pus and festering nicely by now, me being diabetic and all. I still can’t lift anything heavier than the baby, but I am able to walk much better now. The first time I stood up after the surgery I honestly thought all of my internal organs were about to fall out through my scar. I’m now starting to believe that this won’t actually happen.
I think my diabetes is best described as “interesting” at the moment. It’s a generally well behaved toddler who is prone to more tantrums than usual. A bit like an older sibling who’s had their nose put out of joint by the arrival of a new baby in the house. I think a third of the problem is down to the massive changes in hormones, a third is down to breastfeeding, a third is down to me struggling to believe that I no longer need a bucket of insulin for every meal and the fourth third is down to the fact that as you can probably tell, I’m a bit tired and have other, much more enjoyable things to focus on.
Breastfeeding has surprised me. I innocently expected the impact on diabetes to be relatively predictable. I know, I know, I’m a naïve fool. Generally my blood sugar drops an hour or so after I feed, but not all the time. Some of the time it has no impact whatsoever. And sometimes the drop comes later than 1 hour post feed. So I’m running at a reduced basal rate of 80% and eating 10-15g of carbs with each feed. And then I cross my fingers and more often than not it works out ok.
Continuing with the “I didn’t expect it to be like this” theme, my brain is struggling to come to terms with post birth diabetes. It’s spent 9 months running diabetes with military precision and attacking carbs with ever increasing amounts of ammunition. Now I don’t have the time, inclination or mental ability to do the military precision side of things, but my brain hasn’t quite caught up. So I’m over-correcting highs and over-bolusing for meals, because I simply don’t believe 5 units is enough to cover that sandwich when a month ago I needed 20 units for the same meal.
Generally though, the diabetes is as well controlled as it needs to be for now. The CGM helps a lot because it squawks at me when I go too high or low, meaning that I don’t forget completely about the pancreas business. Because to be honest, when you’ve got sick down your back, wee up your arm and a crying baby, blood tests aren’t really top of the agenda.