Difficult conversations

By | 12 December, 2012
A conversation. In a park. Between two women. Sitting on benches.

A conversation. In a park. Between two women. Sitting on benches.

Whatever medical condition I have I like to get a good understanding of it. How does it work, why are things happening, what are the pros and cons of all the options for treating it? I’ve always seen this as critical to successful diabetes management.

Open conversations with medical professionals are key to this. I need to be able to ask questions about what’s happening and why. The answers help me understand what’s going on and inform my decisions.

Taking this approach to pregnancy is proving challenging. There seems to be a default setting that means any question you ask will be ;

14 thoughts on “Difficult conversations

  1. Melissa

    That really puts a general frustrating conversation with a GP into perspective!

    I’m amazed by your patience with doctors who don’t seem to be listening. Here’s hoping you’ll get to talk to midwife (and/or sane doctor) soon!

    Reply
    1. Alison Post author

      Interestingly, I actually think my team are quite good, but there seems to be a general problem with having sensible conversations about stuff they can’t give a firm answer to. I nearly didn’t publish this because I wondered if it was me being unreasonable, but I’ve read very similar things from 5 different people on other forums regarding trying to have conversations about birth. It seems to be quite a common problem, and a bloody irritating one at that!

      Reply
  2. Joy

    If you ever want to see a doctor panic, tell them you want a home birth 😉

    Reply
    1. Alison Post author

      @joy114 I was so tempted to do that just for entertainment purposes. But then decided it was probably cruel and with the morning sickness I didn’t really have the energy. When they asked me where I wanted to give birth, I did tell them I didn’t realistically think I had a choice – they agreed, but said they had to offer me a choice anyway. Madness 😉

      Reply
          1. Joy

            Not quite, had a plan ready and went into labour but then baby changed her mind. In the end I gave birth on the Midwife led unit with no interventions other than having my waters broken and intermittent monitoring. It took a lot of hard work to get there though but I think it was good to challenge the staff a bit.

            Reply
  3. Angie

    This is the part that I’m really not looking forward to – everything else is going to be difficult, but I can already hear the conversations I’m going to have, especially trying to get liver doctors, diabetes doctors and everyone else all on the same page. It’s one of the reasons I’m going to try and make sure that I see the same doctor next time I’m in clinic – while we’re not planning on trying for a little while yet, I’m hoping that then I’ll at least have a good relationship with some of the team!

    I’m glad to hear the midwives are helpful though – I can see it being a bit like DSNs, who I’ve generally found to be much better at answering questions.

    Reply
    1. Tim

      Your last comment was going to be my comment – midwives seem to be the equivalent of DSNs

      Reply
  4. katherine cromwell

    I had not only a midwife who was diabetic but my dsn was as well! Team work is essential and in Poole they have a clinic where you see the nurse, midwife, dietitian, radiographer, diabetic consultant and obstetrician all at the same (lengthy) appointment the result is they achieve alot of happy mums to be.
    My experience is that the baby will be born no later than 40 weeks. If inducing doesn’t work then elected c section made. If its elected I don’t see a problem in keeping your pump on. I know its not ideal but at the end of the day you and baby want to be ok. I did feel a bit defeated when I wasn’t allowed to try natural with my second pregnancy but I can honestly say i never had any pain before,during or after either of my sections.
    My 3 all went into NICU and its horrible visiting them in their just because of their hypo state. However, you realise that when you see your little darlings next to those babes who are in their fighting for their lives actually a little hypo isn’t really to bad. Hormones do play havoc with your bloods and therefore its understandable if babe blood is alittle sugary (especially when your strapped to monitors and not knowing what is happening and will baby be ok yes stress =high b/s) You’ll be fine though Alison your so well informed just listen to the obstetrics and then confirm things with the DSN. Babies don’t listen to birth plans!

    Reply
  5. lizz

    My first labour was ghastly as I had drips in every arm and was tied to the bed. Took forever and actually getting the baby out was very hard work – I was given that injection in the spine to block pain and you just can’t push as effectively. The second time I was given that stuff (sorry brain won’t fish it up from my memory banks at the moment) to stimulate labour as I had been having scans every day towards the end as the placental fluid was getting low. As soon as my waters broke and labour was underway I said I wanted to walk about, and I disappeared with my OH down to the tunnel at the bottom of the maternity hospital that linked it with the children’s hospital at the time. I walked, walked walked up and down that tunnel until I could hardly walk any more – then went up and asked to be examined. You won’t be very far yet they said – oh, hang on – they whipped me into a delivery room and my son was born about an hour later.

    It is natural to stay upright as much as possible and for as long as possible – the weight of the baby’s head bears down for you and helps with everything. Oh my goodness, so much easier, even allowing for it being my second birth. I would very much recommend walking in the early stages even if they won’t let you later!

    Reply
  6. Sue

    When I had my 5 children (last ‘one’ turned out to be God’s idea of a joke…twins!!!) 25+ years ago, the damned doctor Dr. Knight, Australian, never to be forgotten by me (If I ever meet up with him, well, he’d better run for the hills!), he checked my blood glucose levels by pricking my foot whilst I was in the middle of a contraction, on the basis that I wouldn’t feel it. Soon as you get to the labour ward, check that this isn’t done any more!!!! It really hurts! All worth it in the end though! Best of luck, and thanks for this blog, it’s great.

    Reply
    1. Alison Post author

      That makes me wonder how on earth he thought you coped with the agony of blood tests the rest of the time when you weren’t having contractions!

      Reply

Leave a Reply to Tim Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *