There’s something about having a broken pancreas that makes you see numbers in a different light. For a non diabetic type watching the national lottery draw is all about waiting for those 6 winning numbers to come out. For a diabetic, it’s far more exciting. Every number comes with a message attached:
49 – Oo, you’ve come out of your coma, that’s good. Did you realise you’re diabetic?
28 – WTF? Dodgy infusion set? Forgot to bolus for lunch? Are those my kidneys I can smell frying?
19 – Not feeling too good. I could drink a reservoir dry and still have space for a slurp from the pond.
17 – My standard example of a high number, because on ye olde test strip bottles, the high colour was always rated against 17
14 – Is it me or is it hot in here? Does anyone else feel a bit queasy?
11 – Not bad considering I had a pizza for lunch/How the hell can I be that high after an apple?
8 – Cruising along quite nicely thank you, nothing much to worry about, perhaps a little squirt of insulin.
6 – Nothing to see here, I’m masquerading as someone with a working pancreas.
5 – I am a diabetic genius, bow in my presence and bring me chocolate, I deserve it.
3 – My head feels funny, but it’s vitally important I finish doing this completely pointless task before I stop and get some food.
2 – Can anyone else see those flying elephants or is it just me?
1.5 – How low can you go? Despite the fact I can barely walk or speak, I’m strangely proud of still being conscious!