Carb counting for posh people

By | 6 August, 2010
La fée verte

La fée verte

I was idly rummaging through my old notes, leaflets and booklets that I was given by the DSN when I was first diagnosed. I did because I wanted a) clear some space in my drawers; and b) remind myself how many bad habits I’ve picked up in the last five years.

One booklet in particular did leap out at me. And that was a useful guide produced by the Royal Infirmary which gave the carbohydrate contents of various meals one might encounter out on the high street. After flicking through it again, I was reminded that there are 83g of carbs in a McBigMac, 45g in a McMuffin and 99g in a KFC Family Bucket (whatever that might be).

However, this led me onto thinking that while somewhat useful, it doesn’t really help the posh diabetic. Those within the pancreatically-challenged masses who dine on fine food and eat in exclusive restaurants. So, dear reader, I’ve done some research and calculated the carb contents of some fabulous meals for poshos:

Pheasant & port

Like most right-minded Englishmen, I like to start each morning with a good, sturdy breakfast and like nothing better than a roasted pheasant, a large glass of port and a copy of the poems of Blake propped up against the tea pot. Sets you up for a day on the rugger pitch (in winter) or an afternoon in flannels listening to great, English sound of willow against leather (in summer). Ruddy marvelous!

Carb content: 15g (depending on amount of port)

Narwhal & absinthe

Of course, some of our readers will tend towards the more bohemian echelons of upper society; so I have included this classic dish of narwhal steak, washed down with a soupçon of la fée verte. Best enjoyed with close friends at a left-bank bacchanalian feast, you won’t even be able to even feel your legs after the first course, so taste is fairly academic.

Carb content: 22g

Ortolan

Finally, a particular favourite of mine – Ortolan. Illegal in most countries (even France, for heaven’s sake), an ortolan is a small bird which is drowned in brandy and then roasted whole. Pausing only to cover your head in a large, linen napkin (to hide your shame and gluttony from God) you consume the bird whole, biting through bones, beak and sinew. An added bonus is when said bones pierce your cheeks, mingling your own blood with the bird’s flavours. The best bit is, of course, when you bite through to the lungs and stomach, which burst and release the delicious brandy within. Best enjoyed with one of the better clarets. Yummy!

Carb content: 97g

So there you have it; please feel free to add your upper class eating favourites in the comments below. Bon appétit!

Category: Food & diet Tags: , ,

About Tim

Diagnosed with Type One when he was 28, Tim founded Shoot Up in 2009. For the diabetes geeks, he wears a Medtronic 640G insulin pump filled with Humalog and uses Abbott's Libre flash glucose monitor.

14 thoughts on “Carb counting for posh people

  1. Tim Post author

    Ortolan does exist by the way – it’s not the ravings of my fevered imagination…

    Reply
  2. Annette A

    Oh it does. Saw it on TV not so long ago. Think it was Jeremy Clarkson, but might have been any number of peple, including that Cornish chef whose name escapes me. (It was in France, and they did say it was illegal to do it.) Quite high, isn’t it? In more than one sense.

    Reply
  3. Lesley

    A timely piece! I was looking for a low carb breakfast alternative to eggs and bacon. Pheasant and port it is, then!

    Reply
  4. Hairy Gnome

    I was going to say peasant and port was illegal too, certainly frowned on, then I realised you’d said pheasant… 😉

    Reply
  5. Cecile

    @tim: Carb-wise you might be on target with the port and the absinthian sugar cubes, but when it comes to the boozy bunting, you have the counting ability of an Upper-class Twit of the Year…unless a bunting is a kind of sugarbird?

    Because of vertigo, I dare not aspire to “upper class eating favourites” – but @teloz‘s peasant&port sounds wholesomely down to earth to me: does 1/2 a cup of peasant also contain 15g of carbs, like (aformic) peas?

    Reply
  6. Rohan

    The mere suggestion of ‘Narwhal & Absinthe’ made me lol…

    And there is nothing wrong with peasant and port – just pick the right peasant so their absence isn’t noted 😉

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  7. Cecile

    Okay @teloz, I give in, you win! 🙂 (just glad it’s English shepherds*, now I don’t have to forsake my breakfast of blue crane biltong & brandy to go keep the sheep out of the canola…)

    *piglets called Babe?

    Reply
  8. Faith

    Haha this is great- I definitely think they should include it in the newly diagnosed literature! However, it does sound like a prescription for gout. Who would have thought that pheasant and port would be better for you than most breakfast cereal?!

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  9. Owain

    I had pheasant for supper last night! With a few spuds, peas, carrots, bit of spring onion and a glass of white wine!

    I tend to just assume meat is largely protein and not include it in my carb-counting guesstimates!

    Comedian Ed Byrne said once that “Pheasant is a posh meal, even if you eat it with alphabetti spaghetti!” I beg to differ, a lot of posh people are too squeamish to cut a pheasant open, and are only too glad to give birds to the unwashed masses like myself! (I do wash, by the way, that part is just an amusing colloquialism!)

    Reply
  10. Clara

    The Wine Manager, at the restaurant I work for, has a spectacular book – ‘Wine as Medicine’. Today she brought to my attention the wine prescription for diabetics.

    I think we can all safely assume that this worthy tome was published pre insulin discovery.

    Recommended wines
    Young red wines with a moderate percentage of alcohol (Bordeaux or Sancerre)

    Why?
    There are many reasons. First, wine, because of it’s very composition, acts as a nutriment which replaces the starchy food forbidden in the diet; it also prevents diabetic coma by opposing the formation of ketonic bodies; by its vitamin content it stimulates the combustion of sugars and fats; and last, it facilitates the metabolism of nitrogenous food and lipids which, in a diabetic’s diet, replace the forbidden carbohydrates.

    Dosage
    An average of 800 grammes of red wine per day to be divided between the main meals. This must be included in the dietary allowance medically prescribed.

    Reply
  11. Hilary

    Sold! Sign me up for that as a treatment.
    Also I think I want the title ‘wine manager’ when I grow up (it has to happen at some point right?). Not necessarily the job, you understand, but definitely the title!

    Reply
  12. Charlie

    I think I’m already a “wine manager” – I manage to consume quite a lot, and consider myself an expert on the matter – I expertly drink it without spilling it – good or what eh?! ha ha.. oh, with or without pheasant.. I can take it (but prefer gin with my cornflakes – that balances out the carb content too!) 😉

    Reply

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