I was idly rummaging through my old notes, leaflets and booklets that I was given by the DSN when I was first diagnosed. I did because I wanted a) clear some space in my drawers; and b) remind myself how many bad habits I’ve picked up in the last five years.
One booklet in particular did leap out at me. And that was a useful guide produced by the Royal Infirmary which gave the carbohydrate contents of various meals one might encounter out on the high street. After flicking through it again, I was reminded that there are 83g of carbs in a McBigMac, 45g in a McMuffin and 99g in a KFC Family Bucket (whatever that might be).
However, this led me onto thinking that while somewhat useful, it doesn’t really help the posh diabetic. Those within the pancreatically-challenged masses who dine on fine food and eat in exclusive restaurants. So, dear reader, I’ve done some research and calculated the carb contents of some fabulous meals for poshos:
Pheasant & port
Like most right-minded Englishmen, I like to start each morning with a good, sturdy breakfast and like nothing better than a roasted pheasant, a large glass of port and a copy of the poems of Blake propped up against the tea pot. Sets you up for a day on the rugger pitch (in winter) or an afternoon in flannels listening to great, English sound of willow against leather (in summer). Ruddy marvelous!
Carb content: 15g (depending on amount of port)
Narwhal & absinthe
Of course, some of our readers will tend towards the more bohemian echelons of upper society; so I have included this classic dish of narwhal steak, washed down with a soupçon of la fée verte. Best enjoyed with close friends at a left-bank bacchanalian feast, you won’t even be able to even feel your legs after the first course, so taste is fairly academic.
Carb content: 22g
Finally, a particular favourite of mine – Ortolan. Illegal in most countries (even France, for heaven’s sake), an ortolan is a small bird which is drowned in brandy and then roasted whole. Pausing only to cover your head in a large, linen napkin (to hide your shame and gluttony from God) you consume the bird whole, biting through bones, beak and sinew. An added bonus is when said bones pierce your cheeks, mingling your own blood with the bird’s flavours. The best bit is, of course, when you bite through to the lungs and stomach, which burst and release the delicious brandy within. Best enjoyed with one of the better clarets. Yummy!
Carb content: 97g
So there you have it; please feel free to add your upper class eating favourites in the comments below. Bon appétit!