We’re off to Disneyworld in a couple of weeks for a bit of much needed Disney magic. Amidst the excitement it did set me thinking. What would diabetes be like if it was managed by Disney, that all encompassing factory of magical happiness?
If Disney did diabetes…
- My pump would wake me up in the morning with a cheery blast of Zip-a-de-doo-dah
- I wouldn’t be high, I’d be magically elevated
- I wouldn’t be hypo, I’d be having a magical moment
- You’d no longer experience that horrid time in limbo when you’re sitting on the floor waiting for the sweat to subside and the sugar to kick in after a hypo. Oh no, that time would be filled with amazing fireworks displays, beautifully choreographed to classic Disney tunes.
- Insulin would be measured in fairy drops, not units
- I’d have to fight with a certain mouse named Mickey to get to a nice low carb cheese snack
- As a motivator to maintain glucose levels within target range, any results out of range will trigger my meter to play “It’s a small world” on a loop until it gets a result within range. (This way lies madness me thinks!)
- HbA1c results would be delivered via the medium of dance – a good result gets you Mickey and Minnie surrounded by hundreds of dancing showgirls. A less than favourable result is delivered by a screeching Cruella de Ville.
- Snow White would lend me one of her dwarves to carry my diabetes junk round for me (I’m not fussy which dwarf, although I’m pretty good at being Grumpy and Dopey myself so it’s probably best she lends me one of the other 5)
- When I’m having a bad diabetes day and the world is getting me down, a meerkat/warthog dancing combo would appear and serenade me with an uplifting rendition of Hakuna Matata
- The whole thing would be even more expensive than it already is, but somehow you’d feel it was worth the money
Any more suggestions? Have a nice day!