Shoot Up or Put Up

Before we get on to the main article suggested by the intentionally provocative headline, first things first – happy New Year to all our beloved readers. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas (or equivalent winter-based festival) and a fab Hogmanay. I certainly did; hurrah!

Anyway, avid reader Rachel brought my attention to this article in the Express newspaper about insulin syringes and airport security. For our non-UK readers who might not know of it, the Express, in my humble opinion, is a worthless rag with horrible, ill-researched journalism (if you can call it that) that results in a paper that is barely worth using to line the cat’s litter tray.

Essentially the jist of the story is that following the Christmas Day bomb scare thing a journalist (if you can call him that) apparently “evaded security” by taking a insulin pen through the security checks at Schiphol airport. After successfully getting airside, the scaremongering article notes that said journalist could then have used the insulin filled pen to…uhm…uhm…not do very much. Oh. Perhaps that’s why security ignored his small vial of insulin in the first place.

I’ve written about airport security before and I’ve never had any problem with taking insulin, needles, finger-pokers and what-not through airports. I never bother telling anyone I have a bag full of insulin and I’ve never been stopped. My concealed pistol has, however, been slightly more problematic. With talk of security being beefed-up (including not allowing passengers access to hand-luggage during the last hour of flights, etc.) I wonder if the pancreatically-challenged hoards might have problems in future?

I suspect we probably won’t – after all there’s not much you can actually do with a syringe – a few small vials of insulin and a couple of packets of test strips could hardly pose a security threat. So I think the Express’ article completely missed the point in two major ways. Firstly, the baddie on Christmas Day also had a load of explosives strapped in his undies – surely that being missed is a little more of an issue than a syringe. And secondly it’s worth noting that not all terrorist attacks happen on planes. The London 7/7 and Madrid attacks were carried out on trains and buses but there’s no talk of security scans on the number 44 bus to Balerno. In other words a determined terrorist will always get through no matter what levels of security are imposed – so why take it out on us innocent diabetics?

Anyway, I’d be interested to hear if any of our readers have had any issues with security since Christmas Day (or indeed, ever). And finally, can any of you diabetic geeks work out what brand of insulin the reporter has in the pictures - I can’t. Answers in the comments below!

Fashionable terrorist-chique

I was recently reminiscing about my childhood with some friends.

I grew up in Northern Ireland during the 1980′s amidst the chucklefest that was The Troubles. I usually say we lived in Belfast, but in fact we lived in the leafy suburbs of Cultra – which, as anyone who knows the area will attest, is not exactly the Falls Road. However, despite that, we lived in a house with bulletproof glass windows, barbed wire along the 6ft fence and reinforced gates.

As we chatted about this, I remembered that Sinn Féin was often described as the political wing of the IRA. Therefore it sort of followed that the IRA was the terrorist wing of Sinn Féin. Leaving the heady days of Northern Ireland behind, I wondered whether other organisations could have terrorist wings.

In the UK we diabetics have problems with the NHS, health boards and funding and our chums in the USA have endless issues with healthcare funding and insurances companies. There are clearly plenty of targets, so why not form a diabetic terrorist organisation? We’re all (moderately) clever, well organised and pretty damned fanatical about diabetes – so I can’t see any problems there. We could call it the PCA – the Pancreatically Challenged Army.

I don’t know about you, but I’m somewhat squeamish about real terrorism – I’m almost certain I couldn’t dole out a punishment beating to a health board executive, kneecap a drug rep., or plant high-explosives in an insurance company headquarters.

So I’m thinking more mischief than real terror – rude things said on blogs, seven thousand simultaneous requests for free meter samples, excrement trebuchets, live monkeys released into buildings – that sort of thing. No one will get hurt – just a bit smelly in the case of the fantastical poo-catapult.

So what would an active global campaign by the PCA achieve? Absolutely nothing. In fact it would probably set back the diabetic cause by years – rightly creating waves of public outcry, criminalising those of us with wonky pancreases and leading to sanctions on critical diabetic supplies such as Fruit Pastilles.

But isn’t it just great to fantasise about for just a moment? Turned down for pump funding yet again? Can’t get the number of test strips you need each month? One encrypted message to your nearest underground PCA cell and terrible revenge would be wreaked on your behalf. Oooooh, now that feels good.