Diabetes limericks

[TimBenign Dictator]

Limericks = highest of all the artforms; thus (please, please join in with your own):

[TimBenign Dictator]

There was a young man with a blog
Whose insulin was analogue
It’s not so strange
It’s hardly deranged
It’s just simply humalog

[TimBenign Dictator]

There was a young man from Brunei
Whose friends would look at him awry
It’s not an affection
I must do my injection
It’s insulin and if I don’t I will die

[TimBenign Dictator]

There was a young man with diabetes
Who despite his many entreaties
Asked for a pump
Was told to take a running jump
He then took it up with his health board and local MP to little avail.

[MikeMember]

@tim Perhaps a new Video Blog episode??

[CecileMember]

In order to stay diabeteless,
You should keep your urine melitless.
Shoot up day and night,
Give your test strips a sight
Or your frame will too soon become meatless.

[CecileMember]

If you wanted the idealised quantus
Of your long-acting insulin Lantus:
Hop onto the scale,
Take note of its tale
And quarter it all for your wantus.*

*when reading aloud, pronounce -us as a lingering snaily -sss

[TimBenign Dictator]

@ckoei – thought you would come up with some good ‘uns!

[CecileMember]

In Tim’s fridge, a bottle of onions
Sets Annette a-drool into dustbins.
Don’t let her shoot up
With her spirited pump:
Those sour bulbs cause gastric oblivions!

[CecileMember]

A Type 2 diabetic called Terry
Even though hearthrugged & hairy,
With no hair on his top
His doses won’t stop
Going up without end…it is scary. ;-O

[Hairy GnomeParticipant]

@ckoei – Pmsl! I love it!

A South African girl named Cecile
Put out a global appeal,
She just wanted to wheedle
An insulin needle,
That when stuck in she just wouldn’t feel.

[Annette AParticipant]

There once was a lad from Dundee
Who used MDI therapy
For a pump he did ask
Put his nurse to the task
But she just said ‘We’ll just wait and see…’

‘We’ll put your name down on the list.’
At this our young lad did get pissed.
So he wrote loads of letters
To his elders and betters
But he might just as well have knit mist.

So he waited, ’till cometh the day
When the call came ‘We’re happy to say’
Come November you’ll get
What you haven’t had yet
You pump finally is on its way!’

[Annette AParticipant]

Said a young lass from Indian Queens
Diagnosed in her quite early teens
‘On the bright side at least
I can legally feast
During schooltime on green jelly beans!’

[Annette AParticipant]

Once a jab, then a pen, now a pump
Once a pee test, now bloods – what a jump!
But advances aside
Highs and lows, far and wide
Bring us all down to earth with a bump!

[TimBenign Dictator]

He he! These are all excellent!

[Author]

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