Testing times
11 May, 2012 in check ups
A pair of eyes - not mine - yesterday
It’s that time of the year again when I pop along to have my eyes tested by my local optometrist. I have them photographed once a year at my local hospital as part of my usual check up, but I also get my optometrist to check them because I value my eyesight (I really, really, really love watching “Britain’s Funniest Pets” on Channel Five and without my sight I wouldn’t be able to do this and – to be blunt – life wouldn’t be worth living if I couldn’t do that).
Anyway, I popped along to have them prodded, poked and generally given a good going over. Aside from some difficulties with getting the new (and very fancy) eye chart to work, you’ll all be pleased to hear everything went swimmingly. Apparently I have the eyes of a fighter pilot (I wonder if he wants them back?) and there is no sign of retinal damage at all.
Even better, my pupils were apparently nice and large so – for once – I didn’t have to have the Drops of Doom™ which make everything unbearably and painfully bright for several hours. Phew!
What was also quite interesting is that said local optometrist has invested a tonne of cash in new kit over the last year or so. So, for the first, time I had an ultrasound scan of my eyes done.
This very fancy bit of kit allows your common or garden trained optometrist to see not only the surface layers of the back of your eye but also the invisible underneath-bits too. The machine does this by taking a zillion ultrasound images per second and then patches them altogether in a coherent picture within a few seconds. Very impressive stuff.
For the first time we were able to peer inquisitively at the back bit of my eye in huge detail (I’m sure there is a technical term for “back bit of eye” but I’ll be damned if I know what it is). Again everything seemed to be hunky-dory – apparently it’s a wonderful system for seeing problems really, really early thus allowing preventative stuff to be done sooner. This can only be a Good Thing.
So there were a number of things I learnt from my visit. Firstly, my optometrist has far better kit and is a million times more thorough than my hospital in checking my eyes. Secondly, eye care in Scotland is supposed to be free but – just as I was leaving – my optometrist enticed me over to the sunglasses and – unable to resist her sales patter – I left sometime later with an admittedly very cool – but not cheap – pair of Ray Bans. So who says great eye care is free?
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Tim said on 11 May, 2012
Well; seeing as no one is commenting on my wonderful article I’m going to tell a joke:
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
lady up north said on 12 May, 2012
Congratulations on the eye results. Now you just need to work on your resisting-sales-pitch skills lol
And here’s my favourite joke of the moment:
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
“Windows frozen.”
Husband texts back:
“Pour some luke warm water over.”
Wife texts back:
“Computer completely ruined now.”
Tim said on 14 May, 2012
Pfft!
Lola said on 12 May, 2012
So we’re telling jokes now? What’s brown and sticky?
Tim said on 12 May, 2012
I don’t know, what’s brown & sticky?
Lola said on 13 May, 2012
A stick!
(I’m sure you knew that, but thanks for feeding me the line)
lady up north said on 13 May, 2012
Sticky toffee pudding – except that’s probably on the highly-not-recommended-for-us p/challenged folk food list
Annette A said on 13 May, 2012
Good on the eyes thing. Got to join in the follow up though.
Two elephants fell off a cliff.
Boom boom.
Tim said on 14 May, 2012
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff:
Ba-doom tish!
Mike said on 14 May, 2012
Lantus and levermir walked into a bar. Barman looks up and says, “Why the long profile?”
Tim said on 14 May, 2012
He he! A genuine insulin joke
Mike said on 14 May, 2012
Tch… Levermir. My r’s!