by Tim
Review – Menarini GlucoMen LX
8:00 am in General reviews, Kit & equipment, Meter reviews by Tim
Horrible, nasty, plastic, vile, repulsive, tacky
Much like a Russian bride I once tried to buy via the Intermaweb, on paper the Menarini GlucoMen LX looks great. But also much like Irena (the aforementioned Russian bride) the reality is just not like the description.
Shortly after Irena arrived in the United Kingdom I noticed that unlike her cheerful smiling pictures I saw on the seedy web site on which I found her, she wasn’t in fact very smiley in person at all. Rather sullen in fact. With a penchant for hitting the vodka. Before breakfast.
Although I tried my best, sadly I had to end things with Irena after I took her to meet my parents. She spent the whole of Sunday lunch swearing, trying to kick the dog (referring to our elderly King Charles Spaniel as “that bloddy Siberian devil”) and – finally – puking a foul-smelling vodka and chicken mix into mum’s pot-porri. Last time I heard Irena had returned to Moscow, where she eventually married a local Mafia boss and was happily settling into the life of a gangster’s moll. Good luck to her!
And it was much the same with the GlucoMen LX (no, really). On paper it does look good. A small sample size, test strips which didn’t need to be calibrated and a fairly good 400 test memory. However, it just looks and feels utterly horrible. Encased in semi-see-through plastic (much like Irena when she was feeling “cекси”, as she put it) the GlucoMen looks tacky and just feels like it will fall apart the minute you breathe on it a little too heavily.
Such poor looks would be forgiveable if the meter had a range of mind-bogglingly useful features. But, perhaps needless to say, it doesn’t. It has the usual range of average results analysis and so on but while the layout and navigation is pretty straightforward it just doesn’t feel particularly intuitive or particularly nice to use.
When there are a multitude of sexier meters out there (in fact, every other glucose meter, ever) there is absolutely no reason to saddle yourself with this vile piece of design. However, if forced upon you by a particularly cruel diabetic clinic or evil insurance company it’ll just about do.
So, top tip for the day – never expect things to be as good as described on the web. Especially if you’re checking out Russian brides.
Sample size – 4/5
0.3μL per sample – pretty good
Test time – 3/5
4 seconds – quick, but not the quickest
Test strip calibration – 5/5
No need to calibrate. Yay!
Test strip slurpiness – 3/5
Averagely fine.
Memory – 3/5
400 records – not bad, not bad.
Sexiness – -5/5
Scores minus points for its utter hideousness
Beeping – 5/5
Can be turned off.
4am test – 2/5
Not great, but not entirely a disaster either.
Grand total – 20/40
Check out our other blood glucose meter reviews or go to the manufacturer’s site
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I hope you got a refund for the Russian bride, she sounds like a bit of a nightmare…..
As for the meter it does look very naff. Why do people not realise that all diabetics need gadgets and gizmo’s that are extra cool?
I am waiting for the day when AccuCheck put tetris or puzzle bobble on my pump. How cool would that be! ha ha
First, praise God for your bride, Katie! Well done. Second, this meter looks like a mini-R2D2 without the wheels. Very sad.
@Clarey Sadly I didn’t get a refund. I paid in roubles that were worthless by the time she went back. Bah!
He he! Thank God indeed – she’s the only person I know that can put up with me for any length of time. I feel sorry for her sometimes!
Yes! I agree with this times 1 million. Cool gadgets are the only benefit of diabetes that I can see.
In other news, this post is already #2 on Google for a search for “Menarini GlucoMen LX”. Menarini will be pleased!
@Tim Maybe Menarini will consult you for their next GlucoMen project…
Well Timothy this is news to me!!!!
Meanwhile, a Russian T1 diabetic named Тим Коричневый (#1 on Google) is writing that he is getting on famously with both his Menarini and his imported Hebridean bride
(a “he” named Behag/pet name Hebag, capable of making buttered scones for tea).
I find Me Narini’s see-through dress very sexy, and as long as she gives birth to an endless stream of test strips (and comes with a card that reads: “Enjoy the strip show”), I’ll be willing to put up with her.
I like the idea of people importing Scottish brides. Adverts would be something like “Hello, my name’s Morag and if you buy me I’ll cook a grand wee Abroath smokie for ye and yer bairns. Freeeedom!” Or something like that.
Ya know, I believe Irena is now dating one of our politicians…or is it the VP?
@Tim
Why do you think I call you husband number 2?
@Katie Ah, that explains a lot! I always wondered…
@Tim Tim, I thought your “stage” name was Vladimir?
@Tim Oidhche mhath ! I’m Morrrag and I can rrroll my rrrs… So if Menarini had 3 rrrs, would you find it “sexier” ? ( And does sexual selection come into play when selecting a technological product ? Katie, Tim thinks you resemble a Wavesense Jazz !)
cabbage for tea anyone?
@Katie Maybe you should make a series of prim Victorian dresses (or bags?) for Tim’s meters to keep him focussed on YOUR handiwork. Or seeing that he is not that into cars, only allow him to “play” with car-shaped ones (that has wheels…for Mark’s jollification).
Please replace has-been “has” with a “have” (And now we’re at a nice round #20)
Dear Tim, I think you were too harsh on this meter. I use one and it is pretty ok. Not the most stylish of meters but it really does what it is supposed to do. I am writing to ask you a question: how do you manage to “try” all these meters? Do you buy them all? Ok. I admit. Glucomen is good but I most definitely would like to try another! xx Love the site…
@So Yeah, it’s fine; but it’s completely ugly and lacking any personality (if meters can have personalities) compared to other meters. I hated it with untold passion.
I’ve written an article about how I get my meters here: http://www.shootuporputup.co.uk/2009/06/01/tim-the-criminal/ – the long and short of it is ring up the companies and ask for a free one!
Have you seen the new coloured covers for this ……they are fab I have a bright pink one. They have about 8 different colours to choose from. You might not hate it so much with one
Thanks for commenting Jo – but I think it might take more than a pink cover to improve my view of this meter!
I don’t care, they’re all rubbish compared to an Accu-Chek Compact Plus! Roflmfao!
(C’mon @Tim, tell me you didn’t know that was coming!
)